I’m an ESFJ for you Myers-briggs fans out there..most important part for this story, I’m an extrovert.
This certainly has been one hell of a month for me and throughout it all I decided to just keep ‘trudging’ on. How hilarious..as if I didn’t need help to get through life’s curve-balls. One of these days a week or so ago, I was talking to my roommate and she made that comment that in ANY situation (even the bad ones)..where was Jesus in the room? Naturally, I started going through everything in my past – seeking out where Jesus truly was…and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the week.
Literally the next day it felt like everything decided to ‘hit the fan’. My old co worker died that morning, my dog is having issues and can’t walk anymore, family is having issues here and there, work was being the worst ever that day, and then I came home and found myself arguing with my best friend about who even knows what. In the middle of the phone call, she found out that one of her closest friends was in a car accident and hit a light pole on the highway. Everything felt so small in comparison, things still built up, I wasn’t really 100% sure about anything that day, and then I still am just saying….”where is Jesus in the room??” Where is Jesus in the room. Where is Jesus in all of these rooms, any room, no matter what. I found myself sobbing. Sobbing in the car, yelling a few choice words out loud, and then just masking it all with some faux Thailand reading glasses (let’s be real – they’re great for cover up).
Slowly, 5pm starts to roll around for work to get out. Before I even have time to shut down the computer I text one of my closest friends asking if she would go grab a beer with me. Listen to me vent, listen to my problems, be able to speak some life into it all, and just not be at home facing issues, ah..me me me. She never text me back. I use excuses like, “I’m a verbal processor” or “I’m an ESFJ” as if those things mean it’s okay for me to take my issues to people. Or to ignore them all together and go to every social gathering ever mentioned to me.
Next thing I know it’s 6pm..my computer isn’t working (aka letting me watch tv shows) and my friend is just now texting me back that she can’t go out that night. The only thing LEFT for me to do is read my bible and seek out some Jesus. I flip it open to good ol’ Isaiah, who I cannot seem to escape, and here we go..
Isaiah 31 – woe to those who rely on Egypt…for their help, horses, chariots, and horsemen. What am I doing seeking out comfort in all places except for in my TRUE BEST FRIEND?? The strongest friend I have, the strongest man I know, the friend who WANTS AND LONGS FOR ME TO TELL HIM MY PROBLEMS. AND HOW HE’LL COMFORT ME AND HOW THERE IS HOPE IN HIM. AND HOW ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE THROUGH HIM. He was in every single room every single time. Jesus is in me, in every room.