I’m out of line and crashing out of step.

I’m out of line and crashing out of step.

I sit deep in the trudges of an organization that has founded it’s spirit on God’s heart and yet I’m far from You.

Time is set aside to pursue the heart of God around every corner, yet I scoff at the fact that someone is trying to tell me when, why, or how to pursue You.

I’ve become a sponge to those who don’t pursue you and let my tongue steer my thoughts into a crash course direction.

I’ve let my overwhelming circumstances squander Your spirit.

My foundation is starting to reveal it’s true self – the giant rock I once thought it was is wavering at the sight of oncoming earthquakes.

The hypocrite.

Here I am.

Even having the thought to prepare for leading a group spiritually right now terrifies me. I recognize more than ever that I need You. Oh my God, do I need you. I know you see the tears that well up inside of me right now, because I’m so overwhelmed at how much I actually need you. The grace and patience You have with me…I’m amazed.

Thank you for seeing me run.

For trying to run.

For seeing me fall.

Most importantly, thank you for even forgetting that I fell. For being so excited that I’ve been running and moving toward You that you forgot about the fall.